Things Are Not Always What They Seem

IMG_0597It has been three years since I last stepped on stage as a bikini competitor. 2011 was a big year of competitions for me. One where I competed in nearly ten shows and missed my IFBB Pro Card by one placing at North Americans and that was a tough pill to swallow given that was my big dream at the time. I felt like a complete failure. I had dedicated the better part of 4 years working to get there and “now what was I going to do?”. I found my whole identity was wrapped up in being a competitor and I didn’t really know who I was or if I even liked what I had become.

Since then a lot has changed in my life.

  • I was married and now I am single.
  • I was living in Evansville, IN and now I am living in Dallas, TX.
  • I was at the end of a very long year and really wondering how I had found myself right where I was in my life.
  • I was very unhappy, over worked, travelling over 200 days that year for my day job, wondering how I could possibly have a failing marriage?
  • I was struggling with sever body image issues and found myself in a very bad cycle of binge-ing and purging and doing cardio for ridiculous amounts of time.

At the time I felt like everything around me was crumbling away and I had no control over any of it.

I finally woke up and took control over my own life at the beginning of 2012. I realized that only I was going to be able to actually fix my life. The unhappy, empty life that I had actually created. It’s funny, but not funny, how we might think to ourselves, “How did I end up here?” not really aware that it was a long line of decisions we made about our lives that put us exactly where we are at any given time.

A lot of this story I have not shared with anyone except one or two people that I love and trust very much. I was afraid of what people might think about me. That I was such a failure. I was, after all, on the cover of some major magazines, appeared to have the perfect marriage, appeared to have a glamorous job “jet setting” around the world. Appearances really are not everything and I wasn’t fooling anyone, especially those who knew me best.

The last three years I have done a lot of soul searching and I know my decisions are getting better. For one, I am the happiest I have been in years. I have learned that saying NO sometimes actually contributes to my happiness. I know that I have some of the best friends and family that a girl could ask for. I know that I can do anything I put my mind to and I know that I can recover. I have recovered from heartache. Come to terms with the idea that I am a single woman again when I thought I would be married for the rest of my life. I am strong and smart enough and resourceful enough to take care of myself. I have a healthy relationship with food again thanks to a really amazing support group who really helped me put everything that seems so messy and insurmountable into perspective.

1656334_10153811445865054_451545198_nI know that I love fitness and I love to run and bike outside and lift weights and go for walks. I love fashion design and I am amazing at sewing and want to start my own clothing line. I also know that I would love to be married again someday and have someone to share my life with and travel the world with and own a dog and maybe if it’s still possible I would love to have a baby too.

I am turning 40 in April and I am excited for what 2015 has in store for me.

I will be representing Texas at the Mrs. US Globe Pageant in March 2015 in Las Vegas, NV. and I will be working hard to raise awareness and funds for our charity, the W.I.N. Foundation which has brought so much good to the very dark subject of domestic violence. I also will be working on a healthy mind and a healthy body as I prepare in the coming months to spend 4 amazing days in Las Vegas with all of my “Globe” sisters.

mstexasI would love to share my journey with you along the way including:

  • what I am doing to raise funds, I have some charity events in the works that I am excited about
  • what I will be doing to get physically fit, I have some great workouts and tips and tricks that I can’t wait to share with you
  • what I will be doing to improve my mental fitness, there are some great programs like the whole movement about being “mindful” which my best friend has had first-hand experiencing and I am excited to learn more about

You will see me on stage at the Ms. USA Pageant the best me that I can be and you will see me in the pages of Maxim Magazine which is also an incredible dream come true and you just might see me on stage in a bikini to celebrate my 40th birthday.

Why am I doing all this? Mainly because I can and it is never too late to start now!

I would love to hear from you!

Make-up Tips from a Princess

10455860_10154309787675054_5543469829758259567_nI posted the other day about my skin care routine and products that I use. This is a follow up to that post and covers the make-up that I wear on a daily basis. So here is my list….

  • Artistry Tinted Moisturizer with SPF15 – I don’t use foundation. i just use this tinted moisturizer. I find in the Summer a 6 works as my skin is a bit more tanned than in the winter when I would use a 5.
  • Artistry Essentials Concealer – well I was using this in the Light and I was ready to place a new order because i am almost out and I learned that it has been discontinued =( I liked how it covered my dark under eye circles. So now I am trying out a new product just started this week…Benefit Boi-ing (2) – so far I like it but I think that the 2 is a bit darker than I would like and next time I order will order a 1.
  • MAC Powder  – I use MAC powder and have for years, I love the consistency of it and always looks great. I use the Medium tone.
  • Quo Bronzer – I love this stuff and it lasts forever! I buy this in Canada when I am home and use it for contouring to get a little color on my pale face
  • Hot Mama – this is one of my fav’s and I was introduced to it with a sample that I received in Birchbox. I loved it so much that I ordered the full size product. This is a blush and eye shadow all in one. It has a bit of shimmer but not too much. Perfect little case for when I travel to keep things compact and it is a two for one!
  • MAC Neutral Eye Shadow Pallet – Love this little kit – includes every neutral shade a girl might want. I stick to neutrals for the most part as I find any other color that I wear makes me look like I walked right out of the 80’s….and not in a good way.
  • Stila Eyeliner – this is a liquid eyeliner also courtesy of Birchbox. I only ever used to wear a pencil eyeliner but now that I have figured out how to wear a liquid liner, have a steadier hand and with some practice I love the look of the liquid liner. I will still use a dark brown or black pencil liner for my waterline as I find the liquid liner would just smudge too much.
  • Mascara – I don’t wear mascara mainly because I wear eyelash extensions and it isn’t needed. I love my lashes. I can actually leave the house without make-up and look bright eyed. I did stop wearing them for a while recently and tried to use just mascara and also attempted the Fiber Lash Mascara that is so popular and although I thought the look was nice what I didn’t love was the fibers were constantly falling into my eyes so they would water and I would be rubbing them all the time not to mention the fibers also would fall off and would be under my eyes – the last thing I need is a bunch of dark black fibers under my eyes when I am already battling dark circles. If you are in Dallas and looking for an amazing lash lady let me know. I can make a great recommendation.
  • Honey Bronze Lip Nectar – I love this lip gloss from the BodyShop. Light color and nice amount of glossiness and tastes like honey!
  • Lise Watier Lipstick – also a favorite of mine from Canada. I don’t wear lipstick all the time but when I do this is my go to.

These are a few of my favorite things! I would love to hear some of your favorite products too!

Skin Care Tips from a Princess

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I have received a lot of questions lately about what skin care I use. Thank you to all the very nice folks for the very kind compliments about my skin. I have to admit I am very lucky and part of having the great skin I do have is genetics. My mom has beautiful skin, so does my sister and my cousins all are beautiful and have great skin too. But there are also some things that I do and use to keep looking young.

  1. I workout! I know that doesn’t seem like “the fountain of youth” but honestly I really believe I look and feel younger than I am because I work out regularly. Weight training and cardio training.
  2. Sleep – I get a lot of sleep. I never quite understood how so many can get by with just a few hours of sleep. I need 8 hours to be at my best, otherwise I find myself really tired and have a hard time focussing! What does that have to do with my skin? I am really prone to dark circles under my eyes and with little sleep they get really dark and really big! I once was asked if I had a black eye when I wasn’t wearing any make up. According to WebMD “Beauty Sleep” is a real thing! Check it out here.

Okay finally getting to the good stuff. Here is a list of what I use each day and I have included a link to each where possible. It is also important to note that I am not paid by any of these brands to promote their products. I use them because I love them. Also I buy my stuff on Amazon if I can as they typically have the best prices – rarely to I go into a store and buy it off the shelf.

  • Neutrogena Oil Free Make-Up Remover – there are a couple of reasons I use this 1) to remove my eye make-up specifically eyeliner but 2) I use Oil Free because I wear eyelash extensions and using Oil Free prevents them from all falling off
  • Neutrogena Oil Free Make-Up Remover Wipes – I mainly use these when I am traveling so that I don’t have to worry about getting a bottle of remover through security
  • Face Scrub – I use this about once a week or whenever I remember. And this container has literally lasted me almost a year and a half. I purchased it in March 2013 and I am just now out so to me it is worth the cost.
  • Youth Extend Enriching Lotion – I put this on after I clean my face in the morning. 2 – 3 pumps in my finger tips and then all over my face and neck
  • Skinceuticals A.G.E. Eye Cream - For under my eyes to combat those dark circles I mentioned earlier
  • Artistry Tinted Moisturizer with SPF15 – I don’t use foundation. i just use this tinted moisturizer. I find in the Summer a 6 works as my skin is a bit more tanned than in the winter when I would use a 5.
  • Artistry Essentials Concealer – well I was using this in the Light and I was ready to place a new order because i am almost out and I learned that it has been discontinued =( I liked how it covered my dark under eye circles. So now I am trying out a new product just started this week…Benefit Boi-ing (2) – so far I like it but I think that the 2 is a bit darker than I would like and next time I order will order a 1.

Next time I will share the make-up that I use. I would love to hear your comments about the products that I am using and would love to hear about any awesome ones that you want to share with me!

Punk Rock Glam

Punk Rock Glam

Studded jacket
societyofchic.com

Maria Black 80s earrings
$94 – youheshe.com

Tech accessory
amazon.com

BlueBelle

BlueBelle

James perse shirt
$200 – shopmrsh.com

Pea jacket
societyofchic.com

Black velvet pencil skirt
$155 – houseoffraser.co.uk

Dune leopard clutch
$89 – johnlewis.com

Ben Amun chain link jewelry
$535 – net-a-porter.com

BlueBelle

BlueBelle

James Perse white top
$200 – shopmrsh.com

Pea coat
societyofchic.com

Pencil skirt
$155 – houseoffraser.co.uk

Dune evening clutch
$88 – johnlewis.com

Ben Amun collar necklace
$530 – net-a-porter.com

Bella Casa

Bella Casa

Glass chandelier
horchow.com

Surya woven rug
burkedecor.com

Altreforme red table
luisaviaroma.com

Low chair
roomandboard.com

Bella Casa

Bella Casa

Bella Casa

Bella Casa

Casual Glamitude

Casual Glamitude

Madewell vest
madewell.com

Tom ford shoes
bergdorfgoodman.com

Clasp bracelet
marcjacobs.com

Kate spade jewelry
bloomingdales.com

Wild Wild West

Wild Wild West

Wild Wild West

Wild Wild West